When adults talk about “guiding” or “managing” children’s behavior, they usually mean trying to prevent children from acting in socially unacceptable ways.
I love the work of Louise Porter and especially her work on Emotional Intelligence.
“Emotional intelligence comprises many skills. it encompasses awareness of our own and other people’s emotions, the ability to regulate our feelings, and the ability to express our feelings in ways that enlist others to meet our needs. Last, we need to believe in our ability to enact these skills, that is, we must have self-efficacy. Whereas less competent individuals have a restricted repertoire of these behaviours or cannot adjust their approach to suit the circumstances, those who are socially competent can flexible use various strategies depending on which is likely to be most effective”. (p. 4 Emotional Intelligence: How emotional literacy can enrich your life, 2016).
I think we can better support children (and may be even adults) to learn strategies to manage the complexity of behaviour, if we analyse behaviours as actions, reactions and interactions.
Actions are what I do.
Reactions are what I do in response to something.
Interactions are how I respond to other people.
I think these focuses help us to work out what the issue seems to be and then to identify some intervention or support.
So, if the issue is that someone doesn’t know what to do, they don’t know how to act, that is a different intervention from a situation where someone doesn’t know how (or have the skills) to react or interact.
How might these ways of thinking help you?
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